Yesterday it's been a month without him. It's like I'm not even really getting it. How is it even possible, a month? I stills see flashes of our last week together, and the day he died. How he died, how he felt when he was gone.
I still want to hold him in my arms, just once, to touch him or his hair.
It has been a month and his smell has left my house. This is probably another weird thing, but for this seems important. The first days there was always stuff like, finding a pill he just to take, finding a hair, his smell on his bed. This is all gone now. My house is so empty, I feel so alone.
I have people over, but my house isn't the same anymore since he has left it.

Thank you, Hopeless. It makes me feel I'm not totally messed up feeling and thinking those things. It does seem to help to write a little here. Just to put my thoughts into words, it seems to do me some good.