I think about this a lot. What is acceptance? Do I want it? How do I reach it?

I was sharing an update on some of my struggles with a friend the other day and she said it’s been too long and I need to embrace the 'new me'. Although I didn’t show it at the time, I was so put off by this statement. Yes there may be some logic in this but how can you embrace something that has taken control away from your life that you were happily living and building? I don't think acceptance has to be about liking it, but certainly hating it doesn't help either..so I know the feeling.

I am constantly trying to analyse, reflect, learn and share learnings on this.
I read a lot and journal a lot but at the same time try to not let it steal any more time from me than it already has. I try to maintain bits of my old life that make me feel ‘normal’ and productive. But it’s still so hard to stop the analysing when the symptoms plague you and this stolen feeling affects you everyday. Nonetheless I have to appreciate it’s brought out this new side of learning and reflecting, which has given me a fresher (and more philosophical) perspective on life. I find talking with my psych on these deeper issues provides some comfort also.

Acceptance for me is about adjusting to this new me constantly. And not being too hard on the choices I make - like whether to get out there, take a step back or just withdraw for a while. Because at the end of the day, all I’m doing is my darn best trying to navigate these unchartered waters. I try to recognise the good, bad and ugly in myself from this, but spend a concerted amount more time focusing on the good aspects I get out of this experience. We’ve all heard about personal growth one can achieve through trauma, and although it’s hard while you’re still in the thick of it, I try to think about the better person I can become (for myself and others), not just when I’m recovered, but starting now.

Thank you all for your ramblings and allowing me to share mine. They resonate so loudly with me!