Jo*mar, I'm not suicidal. If I have any new psych symptoms, I'll call my psych NP immediately and I can get right in to see her, or get an emergency appointment with someone else. It does not take long for me to escalate to mania. If I become s/s it's important for me to get to the ER because of my history- it's not something that can wait. It's just the therapy appointment I'm waiting for. To be honest, I hate therapy. But I know that it's in my best interests to go. Their office doesn't have a 24/7 line for therapy. I doubt I'd reach out to a stranger because things are so complicated anyway.

Dave, congratulations on your 25yrs!
I was pretty much already dry when that episode of agitated mania hit. So that gave me a much better appreciation for that reason why I drank. I remember having mixed episodes like that, but they never escalated to that point, probably because I was drinking to self-medicate. I already knew of many other reasons... euphoria, depression, stress, relaxing social anxiety, etc.
I was able to quit drinking during the absolutely worst 5 days of my life. If I made it through that, I figure I can make it through anything. After I left the hospital I was still hypomanic, and at times manic, for months and still didn't drink even though those kind of episodes triggered my drinking in the past. Despite my alcoholism is, I've found it pretty damn easy to quit up to this point. I guess I just needed the right reason. Having my bipolar disorder stabilized definitely helps, too. I do like the taste of beer and have an O'Douls from time to time though.

My husband is a severe alcoholic. You might think that that would put me at risk... but it has the opposite effect. It worries me, makes me sad, and sometimes disgusts me. He knows he's an alcoholic, but has no desire to stop or cut back. I don't harp on him to quit, but I don't let him get away with crap excuses either, such as he doesn't feel well so he should take vitamins when it's really the heavy drinking making him feel like ****. No matter how much I'd like him to stop, I have to do what's right for me and can't worry about carrying him on my back- as cold as that may sound.

Kay