Dear Ravenclaw,

Again, what you express is very normal and natural and the pain seems just too much to bear but I promise you that it WILL get better, but it may never go away. I understand everything you have expressed.

I remember not caring if I lived or not, but I was not suicidal. I just did not want to live and I know to many people that makes no sense. Only those who have had those feelings understand them. I was not going to take my life in order to join my lost loved one, but I was feeling like I would embrace dying if that were to happen. Just no desire to live. If dying would allow me to be with the one I lost, I was all for it.

And how could others just go back to their lives? Didn't my loved one mean more than that to them? What a slap in the face. Didn't they care more than that? MY life had stopped dead in its tracks. How could they just pick up where they left off. Once the funeral was over and a little time passed, it was like everything was back to normal for everyone else. NOT me.

The very first words I uttered unknowingly spilled out of my mouth when my loved one died was, "MY life is over." It wasn't anything I thought, it just came out of my mouth.

Time did not seem to be my friend at all. It wasn't making anything any better.

It has been years since the loss of which I speak happened. I STILL feel sad at times. I STILL miss my loved one. I STILL have times when I think I can't get along without the one I lost. The pain is STILL with me but it just no longer rules my life. Some where along the line, I started to have a desire to live again but it wasn't something I even realized because it happened so slowly. Today I have a STRONG desire to live.

Grieving is a process, not something you experience for a certain period of time and then you are all better. It can be a very long slow road to travel for some of us and that is OK.

You will NOT forget him but you won't always hurt to think about him. The more time that passes, the less others understand your pain because they DID go on with their lives while you are stuck in grief. YOU are the one that is alone with your grief. Yes, many of those that were there for you suddenly have disappeared. Too busy with their own lives to see how you are struggling to cope with your grief. While they may not forget your loved one, it is NOT the same for them. They did not have the same relationship with your husband as you did. They may be sad, too, but they do not feel your pain.

When you want to talk about him, please talk with us. We are here to listen. We would love to hear about the man that filled your life and now leaves the hole in your life. If others are not willing to talk with you, we are.

There is nothing I can say to make your pain and heartache more bearable. Just know that we care about you and understand your feelings.

It can be very confusing to feel so many emotions that you just feel like you may explode and we don't even understand ourselves when we are in the throes of grief.

I am glad to hear that you ARE eating now, even if you are not "enjoying" it. You need to take care of yourself even if you don't have that desire.

You may feel alone, but you are NOT alone. You have a family of friends here. I know you need more than that, but we will try to be what we can be for you.