I am eating like a pig and now am really afraid to get on the scale. I eat so fast. I have so much anxiety. the clonopin isn't helping. I am so irritable. I am being provocative. yesterday i wound having to sit at another table. there is a guy named Mike who has such a strong voice I can hear him clearly when i am sitting at a table not near him. yesterday i was talking to a woman and could hardly hear her. I told him to please speak lower even though i knew there would be conflict. sure enough there was conflict and he spoke even louder.
then when they started singing christmas songs he boomed and i ran out.
I went to the rabbi's wife class last night and she was talking about Sarah and Rebecca. It was fascinating. before that i ate 1/2 pound of brie and prunes and a pint of turkey walnut cranberry salad. I couldn't control myself. I then threw it up. I ate a little something at the lecture. then when i came home i ate two pounds of mashed sweet potato. I really outdid myself. I go to the psychiatrist this morning and leave in a few minutes. I will tell him how anxious i am and how impatient i am. I shouldn't even been writing this but i feel so desperate.
I had one pleasant dream last night although it was filled with anxiety.
I dreamt of myra twice this week. four other people said that they also felt a part of them died when their sibling died even if they were not on good terms with them.
here goes...i will post this...i should be embarrassed but i feel so scared.
bobby