Kay,
Your father-in-law sounds like a sweetie.
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But if I press him, he'll erupt. I'm better off not questioning it. He has his own version of what happened prior to our separation and has villainized me. Perhaps he didn't want to have that questioned. He also may have wanted to keep the extent of my MH problems a secret.
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Your husband probably will continue to adjust/settle into this new version of your relationship.
I think marriages move/evolve/stay static/ evolve again -- as if they are living and breathing organisims.
My hubby does not complain to my in-laws because he does not talk to them about me at all. (Hubby MAJOR compartmentalizes). He does complain to a few friends about mental health type issues of mine but presents them as foibles / annoyances.
Also he feels comfortable complaining to my family and they are o.k. with listening to him a little.
M