Thank you so much for your post, David. I'm so sorry for your years of struggle.

It is comforting to hear from someone who can relate to the issues I'm facing, and has found ways to cope.

I also had a pre-existing diagnosis of PTSD. Many in the psychiatric community recognize that anxiety disorders and bipolar disorder overlap. You'd be hard pressed to find someone with bipolar disorder who hasn't suffered from an anxiety disorder at some point.

Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing hypomanic symptoms from GAD. It became a problem during a long period of mania/hypomania when I was managing my meds with am prns (as needed). I always treated my anxiety first, but I tended to under-medicate the hypomania because the milder symptoms can feel so similar to lingering anxiety, and I was afraid of over-medicating. Now I know sedation is worth the risk.

Unfortunately, I'm hypomanic again. My last episode took months to shut down. Today my pdoc and I came up with a med plan based on what worked to eventually end the last episode. The med plan should also help with the intrusive thoughts. I hope I don't find myself struggling through a long episode again.

Like you, I want to move forward in life. As I do, I tend to lock doors as I go. I'm not the best therapy patient. I have never heard of NLP, but I know that my therapist uses CBT and other methods of treatment. I will have to ask her about it when I see her on the 22nd.
I'll also be googling "controlling your inner chimp." It sounds interesting lol.

So far my sobriety hasn't caused a great divide in my marriage. I understand that the decision to keep drinking or quit is my husband's alone, just as the decision to remain sober is my own. Whatever happens, I refuse to subscribe to the "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality to keep my marriage together. I choose life.

Thank you again for your thoughtful post David.

Kay

p.s. I also want to say thank you for your work with the homeless. I can imagine it can be very challenging at times. You must be a very kind and patient person. The world needs more people like you.