since the day i went to the emergency room after my injury until this day 2 1/2 years later

i have told every single health care provider i have seen...i have primary care doc and see 16 different specialists...

i have been on over 250 appointments with highly paid, highly educated, and as we know highly arrogant docs...

i see the varsity. 7 of the clinics i see the head of the clinic.

i make it a point to let all my docs know that on my med list is listed as 'as needed'.

NOT ONE health care provider, at any pay scale you can think of, told me i should stop my use.

not one.

i find that astonishing.

but, then again, i love i n Colorado...

here is what i think:

it is a tool. period.

i have lot in my tool box: valium...percocet...tramadol...lidocain patches...and MM...

i use it in only 2 circumstances and every doc knows what i do:

1) i get ready for bed completely, then i go outside and i smoke. everyone in the house knows what i am doing. all i need is 2-3 hits of indica. i go straight to bed and turn off the light. it helps my sleep. A LOT.

2) after an episode of rage. i need something to alter my state of mind to combat the onslaught of chemical changes at that moment. it helps me EVERY TIME. just ask my wife...she can't get me outside fast enough and i usually come back in with a sigh of relief and ask her just happened because it is so bad i cannot remember...some of you know what i mean...absolutely every filthy word you can think of comes pouring out at full volume. yikes. that is when i need help. and it helps me.

the chemicals released into the brain during a fit of rage are as powerful as anything i have encountered in my life. it is impossible to calm down to anything that resembles something related to a human being.

MMJ helps me in those 2 situations.

i am not a recreational user, although it sure is nice to feel good when i go to bed...

my 82 year old mother knows. our 7 kids know. our dog knows. my priest knows. i do not keep it a secret.

what works for me will never work for everyone.

it is just a tool in my tool box.

your tool box is different than mine.

it is not a miracle for me or anything like that.

when i need a patch, i use a patch...when i need tramadol, i take it...

our bodies all react differently to different meds. gabapentin ain't for everyone, neither is this.

it works for me and i know my body well and i am careful with all my meds.

i hope this helps to hear my story.

God Bless and Merry Christmas!

Brainstemmed