I have been fighting being visited by depression
so hard
I have been doing good for the most part
I am conscious and aware when it hovers over me
I ask it to leave and come back another time
only in the last two days
IT is really trying to bring me down
I hate IT
once IT gets a hold on me it is really hard to
shake it

My blow out with my middle sister
Was very ugly
VERY UGLY
have her blocked from contacting me anymore
other than sending me a message the old fashioned way
I had mentioned in the past I allowed my sister to use my
Dell card to my nephew who needed it for school
Rutgers college
A woman who is an addict
And there possibly is my answer
She TRIED TO STIFF me of the purchase
Giving me a hard time paying me back
Why I have no clue
But this is where enough is enough
The disgusting things she typed
Disgusting referring to my illness
I contacted my ex-brother in law
My nephews father and began explaining
what my sister was attempting
I think all hell broke loose between them
My sister lies and manipulated so many things
Her now husband who my nephew expressed to my
child this past summer
They are a year apart
He proceeds to tell Corissa
If you could be born into a different family would you
My daughter Corissa told him
My mother has ALWAYS been by my side
No matter what my mother will tell me the truth about anything
she knows
I never lied to my babies
They know e v e r y t h i n g about me
And I would never steer them wrong
So, he said, you wouldn't wish to be born in
another family
Never she said
I can't imagine me not having her as my mother

This is a small indication how tiny he feels at home
My sister is wrapped up with her now husband in the
hospital because he won't stop drinking
The liver transplant unit released him as a patient as he refuses
to follow the what the doctors just have up
He is in the hospital for his failing kidneys
Get the picture
My daughter expressed how George's
Wish this past summer when I had them as guests
at the pool and they would take walks together
As two teenager who are first cousin
He is an only child
Say to my kid
My mother put Paul before me
How bloody sad is that
I am thrilled my brother in law is in my nephews life
I now cut off any kind of commication after wishing me ill
I will not stand for it
And now she is alone with her addict husband and brings it into her home as if my nephew never came across the dirty needdles

May he do well
And he knows he always can come to me
and ask me anything
And if I have an answer
I will always
Tell him the truth
Me