When I went through my last episode, I carefully documented med changes and daily symptoms. It helped pdoc. It also helped me a lot because I was using those prns for a while.
Either I'm just experiencing heightened anxiety or the increased amount of klonopin I'm taking has been handling the mild hypomania. I have a hard time telling the difference- and I'm the only one who can make that determination.

My therapist told me the same thing re: severely depressed people not having the energy to make an attempt.

I've been through a couple of episodes of agitated mania (mixed episodes) since my s/s attempt. They are very dangerous. They were physical and psychological hell- I finally got to the point where I would do anything to make the pain stop. It's these kinds of episodes I worry about the most, especially given my history.
I don't remember any depressive symptoms prior to my s/s attempt, but my judgement and awareness were severely impaired. I was diagnosed as straight-up manic in the hospital and psych ward though.

I do like cooking, but my husband chose ham this year. It's not going to be a challenge. I used to make a lot of Christmas cookies, but my Kitchenaid stand mixer is in my father's basement- well, hopefully it still is, and I don't have a hand mixer.

I'm not going to see any Christmas lights this year. I seldom go out, and when I do it's during the day. It makes me a little sad. Yesterday morning I was asking my husband to pull out the box of LEDs when I was talking in my sleep.