Two weeks ago, I saw that my neighbor had a black eye. I jokingly asked him if his wife finally got fed up with him. "No", he said, "I got this in church."

"In church?", I said. "That must've been something pretty bad. What happened?"

"Well," he said. "There was a very large woman sitting in the pew in front of ours. When she stood up, I noticed that her dress had slipped into the crack of her rear end. It drove me crazy. Finally, I couldn't look at that anymore, so when we stood, I reached over and removed the dress from between her cheeks. She yelled, 'How dare you!', and punched me hard in my face."

I did my best not to laugh, and expressed sympathy, and that I hoped he learned a lesson. He assured me that he'd never do that again.

Then, last Monday, my neighbor had another black eye. When I asked, he said, "The same lady sat in front of us, wearing the same dress. When she stood, the dress was back in the crack of her rear."

I said, "Geez! You knew what would happen, and you still couldn't resist pulling it out again!"

"Not at all!" he said. "What happened is that the guy next to me must have been as bothered as me. When we stood up, he pulled the dress out of her stupid crack."

"I knew she'd think it was me doing the same thing again. I didn't want to get another black eye, so I quickly stuffed the dress back in between her cheeks."