wondering how many tears have i cried in my lifetime

wonder if i could find a way to keep a happy mood going
they are so short lived

wonder if in this year i'll have a very special someone to love
and be loved in return

wonder if my daughter will have a better year
conquering her addiction and not be sucked into the abyss
she has a child who is waiting

wondering if my father is at peace
in his afterlife

wonder if sadness and depression can be eradicated
with the understanding it is part of this families history
and it is okay

wondering how all are holding up

wondering if i can say thank you for having a place to come to

wondering why my sister is having some complications
after having a complete hysterectomy
a possible bacterial infection
the hospital called her
and she has diarrhea

wonder if it will subside in less than 48 hours
if not directly to er

wondering if my eldest will not have anymore complications
she too will have a procedure to relieve a kidney stone that is lodged somewhere i cannot pronounce

wondering if i'll ever stop wondering