I joined the ABI carers group unwillingly 18 months ago. The first thing Id say is that 9 months is not a long time, and that you are still in the early stages, there is much improvement still to come. I ignored all the advice about getting help, joining groups, having respite until I nearly burnt out. You are still in the grieving stages, youll go back, go forward, have good days and bad days. Yes there are many positive marriages stories out there. I think ours are much more challenging and to survive we must be "selfish" and treat ourselves kindly and at times indulgently. Say yes to everyone who offers, break free from the ones who promise much and deliver nothing and learn as much as you can about the situation you face. Lots of us care that youre doing it tough. Hang in there, it will get better.