Hello and Happy Birthday Jenn,

I am glad you reached out. Sometimes it's just good to vent. You are not alone. Dealing with pain, day in and day out is exhausting and it can just get you down. Depression and anxiety are not uncommon. I had a very difficult time at the beginning and was in a dangerously deep pit of despair for about 18 months. That's too long to go untreated. Like many, I had gone from being extremely active and carefree to dragging myself around (literally).

I credit a therapist with saving my life. The work we did together really helped me move forward and accept the losses. She used EMDR and hypnosis and I found both quite helpful for addressing depression and pain. This is not to say I don't have down days anymore, because sometimes we all struggle with the changes. But I am better able to be happy and content and be present with those I love.

If you do not have a therapist helping you through then it may be time to find one. There are even FaceTime or online options for those who can't get out, though I think a live interaction is best.

Thanks for sharing your birthday with us even if you were down in the dumps. As I have told my spouse many times throughout my ordeal "sometimes I just need to cry and get a hug".

I am sending you many hugs and thoughts of healing and peace in the New Year.