PamelaJune, I am sorry to read about all that you are dealing with.

This is not about me but when I was in the early stages of dealing with my addiction I behaved in a similar way to DB.

My partner was great (the fact that she is, among other things, a psychologist probably helped). She bluntly told me that she could not stop me from drinking but if I made that choice she would support and encourage me. That, with help from my mental health care team worked for me.

I am sure that you are doing all of those things with DB but it is his choice and his consequences. Please remember to look after yourself first - it is not a selfish thing to do.

With care.