Thank you Kiwi, your wife nailed it. I have told him I won't / can't stop him drinking, it must be his choice and I will support him on his path. I have told him I won't be going on our 7 night cruise come March if he hasn't got some sobriety behind him. That stung, he knows I mean it.

I went into this with my eyes open and my head and heart steeled. This is his journey and I / we know and accept there will be lapses, hopefully each lapse will get shorter as he begins to wrap his head around the learnings his psych team offer. It is as we know, day by day. Today he has 3 days sober, his mental health team are all back on board from tomorrow, fortunately I see a mental health team to help me deal with the traumas I have experienced both before marrying DB and those he has caused through his alcoholism.

DB doesn't get to see his team until next week. Today is being very dismissive and sarcastic of my going to tomorrow's group. Acting out... Not sure if planning on drinking tomorrow as its his day off, deliberately haven't asked.

As Quote Wide-O says
About those test results: when you are in the active phase of alcoholism, those results don't dictate logical thinking either way. If they are OK, the alcoholic will say "see, it's not so bad, we have been exaggerating, it's OK to have a few." Whereas a really bad result will make him say "it's too late now to become sober and healthy(ier), I might as well continue drinking."

The brain is an amazingly powerful muscle. Thank you for caring enough to comment, I am most grateful. Real help comes from the valuable virtual NT support network experts who have all been there together with actual people I see.