OhKay, we lost a wonderful niece to MS so I'm familiar with your ongoing losses...hers was "galloping" ms and we lost her much too soon.

Acceptance takes as long as it takes...I struggled for years with Michaels poor choice before I was able to forgive him and leave the anger behind.
His son, a grown man now, refuses to talk about it and if I want to have him and his family in my life, I have to "obey" his rules. It breaks my heart because I could help him but he won't let me.

People cannot help you if they don't know how you feel. Talking is key.