Sorry to hear, but you are not unique. Most of us have relapsed (probably a few times) and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Meetings are OK, but so is accountability. That is what worked for me. Instead of being alone, I did whatever it took to surround myself with like-minded people. In my case, this was taking in a sober housemate, volunteering 8 hours a day and setting goals for myself that I verbalized to others. These three things have kept me sober now for 4.5 years....

The other thing that worked for me was keeping carbonated soda or water in the house to get a "bubbly fix" if I needed it. Yeah, it's weird, but for me it worked.

Congrats to starting again! We have your back...