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Member
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 214
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Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 214
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Don't blame yourself, Danny. You've been dealt **** hand after **** hand recently, and while you've been truly strong (from my perspective here on NT), you can't change these circumstances, and they're just awful for any relationship. My girlfriend and I broke up under similar circumstances, and it caused me a ton of stress too. I'm still working through it, but it's not as bad as it was. Time may not fully heal these kinds of emotional wounds, but I think we certainly get better at carrying them with time.
You will get through this, everything changes and this will too, and it just has to get better. I know that's the hardest thing to believe, and I can't imagine how hard it is for you to believe right now, but you have to believe it (or at least act as if you believe it, even if you can't), because the alternative just isn't an option. You can't do that to your future self and those around you. I wish I could offer more comfort or solace other than wait, cause I know that's all you've been doing and things have gotten worse, but they just can't continue that way.
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26 year-old PhD student in evolutionary biology, slipped on ice in Feb 2014 while clipping my fingernails and walking to save time (dumbest reason for PCS ever?). Initially just had headaches and didn't feel quite right, but a minor head bump 5 days later started a downward spiral of anxiety, depression, insomnia and fatigue. Had trouble concentrating on reading/looking at screens
April 2014 - did exertion test, passed, started exercising and doing more, but didn't feel much better.
May 2014 - Went on backpacking trip OK'd by doctor, trip itself went fine, but felt worse a few days after getting back, more difficulty concentrating, worse headaches.
June 2014 - Bumped head on ceiling walking slowly down stairs, no immediate symptoms, but caused worsening headahces, more difficulty concentrating and looking at screens. Have not felt as good as I did before this since this bump.
December 2014 - after feeling relatively better I went xc skiing and fell but didn't hit my head (something my psychologist who specializes in brain injuries told me he hoped would happen so I saw it was OK), felt worse
Feb 2015 - back in grad school, light teaching load and some research, nowhere close to operating at my full capacity. Still have constant headaches, difficulty reading/looking at screens, mild anxiety and depression, and just not feeling like my normal sharp self.
Trying, but struggling, to believe that I'll get back to my old self, or at least get close.
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