Originally Posted by DannyT

I woke up today and cried my eyes out thinking about these damn songs we used to play. My musical ability is still in tact and I can remember the lyrics perfectly. "No one" by Alicia keys is all about staying by someone. Another one is "through it all". Both songs we loved and she especially loved through it all. "I'm gonna love you through it all"

I guess it was all a lie. Just like every other part of my life. It's crumbling to pieces and I'm losing the will to live surely as every moment passes. I can't wake up to the empty space beside me in the bed. The memories are killing me the stress presents all healing. I will certainly never get better in this environment.

I have love for each and every one of you who took the time to reach out here. I'll do my best to keep fighting but my heart is broken and my brain is severely compromised. What's the point? My brother is dead. My mother is dead. I have no family around to support me. She was my lifeline and I ruined her. Just like this condition ruined my life before this. Now I can say it truly has defeated me. Maybe. It's so very close to the end and the slope is slippery and steep. I hope I can endure this but I doubt it.