Therapy wasn't too productive. First session is always tough recounting my ridiculous story and how much it has affected me. Such a nightmare. It depresses me just verbalizing it. I managed to do all right with the conversation. I was Overstimulated but I recovered OK.

She keeps texting me daily. I'm not sure what it means. There's no I love you but she's calling me babe and boo. It's really confusing. The toughest part is being in this empty house that we were supposed to share to help me get better.

Too bad I ruined my last chance at happiness in this world. She and I used to be the happiest and I let my emotions and preoccupations drive her away. I'm getting close to asking her whether it's over but I think I know the answer. Maybe it's best to give her space and not press her about it.

I really don't know if I can go on without the love of my life