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Old 01-28-2016, 09:28 AM
KnockedOutMom KnockedOutMom is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 120
8 yr Member
KnockedOutMom KnockedOutMom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 120
8 yr Member
Default How do marriages survive TBI?

My husband and I have been married for 16 years, together for 23. Our marriage has had its ups and downs but we have always made it through.

I am 2.5 years post TBI and I feel like there is no way we will make it. I feel like he is hanging on to look like a hero until the big legal payout and then he will hit the road.

He says that he was so over us when my accident happened, but he decided to live by his vows and stand by me. The problem is, he always throws it back in my face. I feel like everything he does is so that he can look like a good man to everyone else. Prior to my accident he did nothing around the house, or with the kids. He was responsible for being a career man and I took care of the household. Well now he has to do a lot of the household stuff that I did, but while he does it he complains to the kids and I about how he does everything and we are lazy. The thing is I do lots too, sure it isn't like it was before but I don't sit around on my *** all day.

He spends zero time connecting with me or the kids, and then complains when I show him no affection or intimacy. And then gets mad when it isn't front of mind for me, he thinks I am torturing him on purpose.

So when we come to blows, it always comes back to this. He says that he loves me and wants to be with me but then he can't understand why I am the way that I am. Simple discussions become huge blowouts because he just keeps going at me over and over and over.

I thought he got it, but I am really beginning to wonder if he ever really will. I've shared enough articles with him about my changes and struggles, and what that does to relationships. But it seems like it goes in one ear and out the other.
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