My experience is that it has to be very gentle. I have been flared up very badly from a good massage.
What is supposed to be healing about massage is that it helps bring circulation to the muscles and moves lymph around. I thought it was just what I needed so went. I had a very good massage, but when I got up and started walking out to the car, I felt all my muscles tightening, twitching, and extreme dizziness. It seemed to activate whatever is circulating through me. I was terrible for days. Then I tried again a few times thinking maybe this was some kind of a detox reaction.... it was bad. I found someone new who is very gentle and spends a lot of time on my feet.
I find that reflexology and the points on the feet are the best possible relief for the nerve pain in the rest of my body, with out having my arms and legs touched. It's amazing really.
For Christmas I got the homedics foot massager and it helps to calm the crazy nerve impulses. It isn't as good as if someone does the accupressure points on my feet, but it definitely does something to my nervous system. I think it was $40-50 and I think everyone with nerve problems should have one (unless your feet are completely numb because it has a heating mode).