Thank you for reaching out. I am so sorry for your "losses".

I realize what I am about to say is easy to say but so hard to do--- sometimes we must let go to have as some people have shared. I have had to do that many times in different ways. Always hard but as I go through it if I find support and persevere, I make it through. That's how I ended up with my current husband of 21 years.

May I suggest, in addition to here, find support from other groups. Maybe there is a local group where you live. If you feel there is any chance maybe you can go to couples therapy. There are some therapists who do it as a group and it costs a lot less. Maybe even a clergy. My husband and I started couples therapy to improve our communication a couple of months before this happened and I am so glad we did.

This concussion/pcs has taught my husband and I each different things. He has learned a new level of patience and I have learned to focus and not multi-task. Not that I could multi task with this anyway. We also found our communication has improved. We have had to both slow down and to take the time to listen to each other because of this PCS. It has slowed me way down. I am sharing to support you --to shine a light on what you deserve.

I also realize how much our lives have changed because of me. My spouse too has had to stand by me.

I also am fortunate my pcs seems to be progressing well, maybe 5%/week. I am a newbie and I realize i do not presume to know the toll after years of this as mine has only been about 9 weeks. Never thought I'd say that.

I have to say a large part of my progress is due to this group and all the great advice and my husband. Mark you are truly a wise elder and there are others who consistently share which makes such a difference to know one is not alone and someone fully gets it.

I realized again after reading another post this AM just how fortunate I am that my husband has been there for me in ways that if he wasn't, I would have had a totally different journey. He is semi-retired which also makes it easier and we depend on his income. So I get to rest when I need and go at the pace I need. I get if someone is in your life with this, they need to be a support; otherwise, they make everything worse. Understanding goes a long way.

My husband is a good man and there are good men/people out there who have an understanding heart. No it is not easy. There were nights he would wake because of my restlessness and hold my hand and stay awake with me because I was so scared. He is a keeper and he feels the same about me.

You deserve better. I get how much courage it takes and the willingness on both parts. If you have done the best you can whatever that is, and he is not willing to accept that, then you cannot change him. It would be unhealthy for you to have to fight this, on so many levels, if he is not willing to try to work with you and compromise.

We all have our faults and different issues in us that arise with different people. My Dad once said as long as the good outweighs the bad then you have a good thing. That is provided the bad is not abuse of any kind.

I am sending you prayers and all the best.