I think I may be ready to know what I weigh. When I go to Cornell Medical Center in NYC every two months, they weigh me backwards because they know I don't want to know. Want to know why? THIS WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH!!

A few years ago, I decided to go and exercise. I went to Bally's and did the cardio (as best I could) but I also did the weights rotation. From weight machine to different weight machine. I never weighed myself there.

When I had my previous appointment at my doctor, (he was always concerned about my diabetes and my weight), I weighed in at 206. I'm five feet seven so I never looked like I weighed more than 150.

So here I was going evey day to the gym. I was about 52 then. I literally re-shaped my body. It was time for my monthly checkup at my doctor (this was way before I went to Cornell.)

So I walk into the doctor's office and he goes "whoa, look at you, you've been very good haven't you?". I was wearing a black tank top and a black spandex shorts. I LOOKED JUST FINE. So here I was already to hop on his brand new digital scale thinking it's going to say 160 or something like that.

It said 223. I blinked, the doctor blinked, the nurse blinked, everybody blinked. I said "this scale is broken, no way did I go from 206 to 223. The doctor starts saying "melody, this is a brand new scale, the scale doesn't lie, what are you eating???" I go, EATING, WHO'S EATING, I'M STARVING AND EXERCISING EVERY DAY, ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

Then I grabbed the doctor and said "Victor, what do you weigh?" He goes 195,I made him go on the scale and it says 195. I weighed the nurse, the people in the waiting room, etc. The weight was what they thought it should be. I wound up looking like a complete idiot. Don't ask how I carried on. I was so upset. He just shook his head. He didn't believe me.

The very next day I took myself to Bally's and walked over to the biggest, baddest, strongest weightlifter there, batted my baby browns at him and said "can you please help me?' he goes "sure honey, what's up" and I go "WHY DO I WEIGH 223 LBS???"

He says 'WHAAAAT DO YOU WEIGH??? NO WAY!!." Then he weighs me, 223. He gathers all his weightlifting buddies and they walk around me in a circle looking me up and down shaking and nodding, asking me my daily routine. When I got to the part that I had been weightlifting for the past month, they all burst out laughing and said "you replaced fat with muscle and one pound of muscle weighs 6 times more than one pound of fat".

I told them "i don't care what muscle weighs, how do I get these pounds off. they explained how to lift smaller amounts of weight and do more reps.

I wouldn't go near any weights after that. I just got depressed.

So when I went to Cornell, I would not let them tell me how much I weighed and for the past 18 months, I have not known what I weigh. When they weigh me, they get all excited and say "oh you lost 5 lbs,, or oh you lost 3 lbs". And I go, what the hell is 5 lbs.???Sure, I look completely different but I am petrified to get on a scale and look.

I think I shall tell them on tuesday. "I don't want to know what I weigh but but please let me know if I broke 200." They'll probably laugh their heads off. I have dropped almost 27 lbs in one year. But I don't know what I weigh.

jeeeeezzz

melody