The whole thing about UberTaxi: The place I was going was 3 towns away and over the state line, so a regular cab ride would be ridiculously expensive, but there are some horror stories out there about Uber drivers.

I had to take 1mg of klonopin because I had a full-blown anxiety attack. My husband ended up calling me around 3:15 to ask if I had called for a ride yet (I hadn't) because he was on his way home.

When he got here he told me I didn't understand how his job worked and he couldn't just decline going… I called him on his BS and told him he should have just let his boss know in advance he had to be out early because he seldom takes any time off, but when he does they always respect it. He was shouting at me about having to constantly take me to appointments, but aside from the evaluation a couple of weeks ago, I take cabs and haven't called upon him in a long time.

He doesn't like to be wrong, and doesn't respond well to it. I usually don't pick fights because of it. It's just easier to suck it up. He also can't deal with any kind of anxiety, which I think is part of why he drinks so much. He just went ****ing bananas! The whole way to and from the appointment was a temper tantrum. The problem is he's not a child, so it's ****ing scary. I didn't speak to him except to ask him to calm down several times. My favorite part was on the way home when the windows started fogging up a little he got frustrated and said he just wanted to drive into a ****ing wall. Fun ride? No nap, 1mg of klonopin at 4:30pm, and I was WIDE AWAKE. I could have taken 2mg of klonopin and it wouldn't have done the job.


When I got to the appointment, the counselor couldn't find my case file and said it was probably at the main office in east *** crack. All I could think of was the ball of rage waiting impatiently for me in the parking lot. Thankfully, she finally called over and they gave her the info she needed and we were able to proceed.
Long story short, she recommended the state minimum of 6-10 counseling sessions. Exactly how many I have to do is up to my new counselor who I see on Thursday.

I have to admit it's a much better outcome than I expected. Not as expensive or time consuming as I had anticipated. I can do a session a week if she's available and I'm up to it.

I'd probably be more relieved and more celebratory if I wasn't dreading my husband coming home this afternoon. I don't know what form he'll appear in when he arrives. Sometimes he thinks things over the next day and apologizes, but that's a rare occurrence. He may just want to drop things, but he could be brooding over it all night or come home ready to pick a fight.