Who was it who said.."The only thing to fear is fear itself"
I'm older than you, but I stopped fearing what the future would bring when my future started getting shorter.
I still get down, as you know, when I realize that this is my life now and that I'm not going to get better, and never again, will I be able to do the things I once did as a younger, healthier person.
I have found that I am more content now, though, since I stopped fighting it. It seemed like the harder I fought the sicker I was. I seem to have platteaued now, in my illness. I know I'm going to keep getting older but I hope that my disease doesn't get any worse.
Do you know what "go with the pain" means? I used to have terrible ulcer pain and when I was in the deepest pain, I would take a deep deep breath and then let it out, say to myself "All the pain is now leaving my body" with every breath. After about 10 minutes or so, the pain would be gone.
I guess that's what I did with the MS...took a deep breath and said "what the hell" LOL! With the pressure of the fear and worry deminished, the MS doesn't seem as bad.
I know, it's all in my head...well dammit, it is.
Take a deep breath, Cindy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfterMyNap
Thanks, Sal, I just want it to stop! Even if it would stop right here, while I can still move just a little. Damnit, I am just so sick of being stuck and dragging everyone down with me. I'm in a bloody panic all the time to do everything while I can do it, even sort of, just to do it. I'm terrified of what another year of this will do. Everything I hope for is a race against this thing. It's literally tiring to figure out how to do stuff all the time. I just want to get on with it already. I guess that every chance I get to do something feels like it's probably the last one.
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