I have an alcoholic brother in law who has refused help from all directions. He holds down a job but drinks VERY heavily. We have asked for help from his work welfare, support groups and mental health teams. ALL state that he needs to realise he has a problem. We are talking 30+ years here.

He is now in debt and borrowing on the strength of his wage. Guys want their money back I am sure as he come here asking for loans.

Until last week we supported him by buying some food every week, heating oil, beds etc etc etc.

He has been aggressive before and last week we had to call for police assistance as he tried to kick our home door in. Frightening and so disappointing as we thought we were getting somewhere. In fact we were trying to get him into some supported housing. In fact he is now convinced we are trying to get him out of the way or locked up. We cannot reason with him drunk or sober and the stress this is causing to us and other family is crazy.

He needed a letter from his medical practitioner to help with housing so he went. She spoke to him to offer yet again some help and yet again he refused saying there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. We were told by the practitioner that she could do nothing until he realised his condition. In fact she said it can have a negative effect, driving him further into "a very dark place" He needs to find that there are consequences for his actions.

His so called friends are happy to help him drink his money and he refuses to engage with anyone who raises their concerns for his welfare.

Well here we are a week on from crisis and living on the edge of our nerves waiting for his return.

Question. DO WE WITHDRAW FROM HIS LIFE AND HIM FROM OURS.

We are wrecked with guilt but also know we have been manipulated in every way.

Thanks