Hi waterwillow

I think that you are in a very hard position.

I agree with what you have been told - your brother first needs to choose to accept that he has a problem, which is something that nobody can force him to do.

This is not about me but once I had made that difficult choice I got great support from my friends and family members. With their help and my work I have been sober for a number of years, with some ups and downs along the way of course.

Other members of this community may have more wisdom to offer but I would be inclined to tell him firmly that he needs to make that choice, if he does you will support him and that you will not lend him any money.

With care.