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eva5667faliure · 02-19-2016, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by St George 2013

I too am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Thought this new pain medicine was going to work wonders but yesterday my feet and hands failed me again

From others that have posted to me I am probably not on a high enough dose since switching from BuTrans to ER Morphine 15 mg.

I had to drive about 20 miles to pick my daughter up yesterday (I rarely drive) and she went with me to see my oncologist for my first 6 month check up (had been every 3 months for 2 years).

Dr said CT scan was clear and I left waiting for blood work to be finished. They will call if CA-125 is up and mail results to me either way.

Then to small furniture store to look for living room furniture (Bubba gave me the money for living room furniture before he became sick). Spent about 15 minutes walking around.

Then to my daughters dr appointment. Walking this whole time but not to far on each stop.

Coming out of her visit I knew I was done for. And this time it made me MAD. Madder than I have ever been since dealing with this beast ! What the h.e.l.l is going on ? Can I not drive 20 miles.....go in to 3 places without thinking the pain is going to kill me ? I cussed, I screamed and was generally ticked off.

Maybe some of those feelings come from the loss of my Bubba. I have never had a 'mad' outburst since I lost him. Maybe this was the tipping point.

Dogs....a part of our families and true unconditional love. Four days after my 2nd chemo treatment I had to have my chi-chi Broozer put to sleep. He was 9 and had heart issues and could not breath well. I was absolutely devastated. My daughter and daughter-in-law at the time took him about 11 pm that night to our family vet and did the deed. They then brought him back to me in a beautiful little suitcase that the vet provided and said he cried along with them as he passed. My poor sweet Broozer who had seen me through all my prior problems was gone. My son, a Sheriff's Deputy at the time, signed off of work for 2 hours to be with us as we told our sweet baby good-bye. Even Bubba cried his heart out....said he had never done that with any animal before. That is how much that sweet baby meant to us.

I know what you are going through. I knew for weeks his time was coming.

I so wish you could have a small dog where you are living. I believe it would help you so much.

Depression.....I so need to see a professional but not being able to drive any distance and living in a small town as made it almost impossible. I know I need to look harder for a practice that works after 5 pm to see patients but I don't have the energy to even do that.

Oh poo......I'm sorry I've written a book...again....but I wanted to share some of my sorrows with you.

I so hope they can find something in your blood work that will show what is going on with you. Yes we can see it ! Very obvious that something is wrong !

Thank you Eva for sharing your sweet soul with us. I love you for that.

Keep the faith sweet Eva.

Please excuse any errors in writing....don't have the energy to even go back and read what I wrote.

Your Friend

Debi

Thank you sweet friend for sharing
And letting me be there for you
You are instrumental in so many ways
Praying for some happiness to surprise us
Just even for a moment
You are a great mom
And have my admiration for your constant love
Thank you for sharing
Love
Me