You don't need to thank me (although its very nice that you did) and never ever feel its a "silly drama". Its your life we are talking about - you only get one of those - and its all critically important to you and your daughter. I've been around on here for a very long time and I think we shared quite a few threads of chat so I remember fairly well the previous, horrible things this boyfriend said and did.

I can see that it must be very easy to minimise his behaviour by comparing him to your very abusive ex-husband. I guess you just need to keep trying to step back and do your best to look at things with objective eyes. I always think a useful exercise is to imagine that instead of you, its a friend in your position who is asking for your advice. How would you advise that female friend if they were coming to you and describing you the kind of things that your boyfriend is saying? Sometimes its easier to see things a little more objectively if you imagine that you are sitting on the outside of a relationship where two people are having the conversations and experiences that you are. If you are making excuses, make sure you acknowledge to yourself that you are doing so - that way you minimise the risk that you start believing that his behaviour is OK. You need multiple strategies to protect yourself and your daughter emotionally and psychologically until a time when you are able to get out. Make 'excuse acknowledgement' one of those strategies!

Never, ever settle for an abusive or uncaring relationship where you are being treated badly just because you believe nobody else will want you. This is classic victim thinking and you need to remember its not real. You absolutely do deserve better, nobody deserves to be undermined, to have their serious health problems belittled, to be treated like a mere object and to have their confidence taken from them. I know there are reasons for you not being able to leave easily - I sincerely hope that you have 'options' soon. Even if you are on your own for the rest of your days, its better than staying in a relationship with someone who sees nothing wrong with treating you badly. It doesn't feel like it when you are at a low ebb but you eventually get over the breakup and you always come out stronger when you dump an abusive bully.

I know its easy to say but you mustn't allow yourself to think that because of your health problems, complications and frustrations, nobody else will want you. Its natural to feel this way but again, its a distortion of the truth which is made worse by the uncaring and cruel treatment you've been suffering for years now. You have many good qualities which other men will find desirable. I have no doubt that in spite of your medical problems there will be many men out there who would treat you with kindness, generosity and love and who would be sensitive to the complex demands that CRPS places on you. Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of thinking that you should stay because nobody else will want you.

You are a tough woman - you can stand up and do it on your own if you need to. Don't let anyone minimise or take away your inner power and strength. Keep reminding yourself how amazing and desirable you are. Meantime I think you need to sharply remind him how severely your CRPS affects you but don't waste any time or emotion on trying to get him to understand any details or getting him to accept what you are telling him. Just make it a simple reinforcement of the facts.

Hang in there and I sincerely hope you have the means to leave as soon as possible. Meantime, keep trying to build a support network around you, here as well as in real life. Stay strong.