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Always_Believe · 02-20-2016, 10:47 AM

I have not been on the boards as long as Neurochic, so I cannot base my comment on all the combined concerns. I can however, say that I have been in very similar relationships. While not based on my own disability but my son's, my 1st husband was as aloof, uncaring, inconsiderate and as "Richard-esque" as your significant other seems to be. Upon discovering the 14th affair he was in the midst of, I kicked him to the curb. A month later discovered I was 3-1/2 months pregnant. He accused me of trying to trap him. This after informing me that I no longer looked good in a bikini. Duh. This pregnancy was my 4th.

At 27 with 4 kids, one of them severely disabled, and not very appealing (per my soon-to-be ex) I stood relatively no chance of finding another love. I jumped at my first opportunity. He ended up breaking my nose, busting my lip, fracturing a few ribs and stealing my oxycontin I was taking for severe endometriosis. I tolerated it. I chalked it up to my missteps. I wrote it off as an addiction issue I could not solve - he needed to. Then, in a fit of his addicted rage, he shattered about 50 jars of baby food that was my disabled son's means of nutrition. Screw with me & I can take it, screw with my kids & you're done. He left for his parent's house out of state the next day. Once he arrived there, I informed him he was not allowed back home.

I continued with my victim mentality until my son passed. Somehow the enormous grief broke through that and my perceptions of the world and my place in it changed. Hopefully no one else will need to be impacted by such an event to be a catalyst of change.

I had to start small. Find ONE thing you feel good about each day. If you can't combine it with the good from the day before, that's okay...it's still finding a positive. I started with my hair looking good. Then it was my eye makeup. You get the idea.

I respectfully agree with everything Neurochic has stated and I want you to know, without question, that you are not in this alone and you are worth more than what you are being given. Have faith that the right time will present itself and you will be strong enough to take advantage of it.