Eat the ice cream…

Give your body a little time, and hopefully it will adjust to the topamax. I hope it helps you lose weight like it did for Donna.

You did well after Myra's death. You didn't isolate yourself. Maybe Abby's death in addition is just too much for you
I can understand avoiding Stella because I know she triggers you, and now is not a good time for her Byron Katie BS. But please try to get out, go to the senior center when you can, and maybe see Robert as Bizi suggested.