I'm still upset and slept very little last night.....cried a lot. Finally took a whole pain pill about 2 hours ago and it has calmed me down and lowered the pain in my feet.

I was just totally devastated, felt like my life was over and cried hysterically in the dr's office. So glad Luke took me as he doesn't mind adding his 2 cents worth and was able to talk to the dr as I was crying.

Met his nurse pract for the first time yesterday and as usual, she had not read anything in my file before coming in with the nurse. Had to get her on the right page and then she offered stuff I've already had done. She went and got Dr Chang and he said he could not increase the 15 mg ER Morphine. Said the 30 mg ER would be to strong for me ?

He said.....he could take me off the morphine and just put me on oxycodone 3 times a day, or put me back on the BuTrans patch. I just lost it......explained that I have NO LIFE and have never reached any of the 3 goals I came in with Sept/Oct of 2014.

Told him I knew there were many meds out there and was there not something else that could be tried ? He said methadone. Said it works on a different pain receiptor (sp?) than the morphine or BuTrans.

I've been on the 15 mg ER morphine 4 weeks now....I asked would it get any better and he said NO......

I didn't ask whether his decision to not increase the morphine was due to their office policy which I've run up against before.

I would like to increase the morphine to see if that will help before switching to anything else.

It was so much to take in I told him I would have to think about the methadone. I'm not opposed to trying it but would like to make sure an increase in what I'm taking wouldn't work first.

Does any of this make sense ?

I really like this dr and have always felt he was on my side in trying to get some quality of life back to me.

Here I am trying to be a good patient and only taking 1/4 to a 1/2 oxycodone when I can take 2 whole pills a day.

I told him nothing I have tried is giving me the relief I need to lead a decent life. He said on the days I feel good I have to stop doing so much ! Those days are few and far between and the rest of the time I'm in bed.....what the heck !

Comments and suggestions would be very welcome at this point.

I've always felt at some point I would find a combo that works for me and now I feel like that may not ever happen.

He told Luke there wasn't much else to try and that he wished the SCS had worked for me. Well I wish it had worked too !

Has the dr given up on me ? Unhappy because he can't fix me somewhat ?

Debi