Father
Brother
Mother

May I take all that is put before me with grace
How do I balance the the ties that have been severed


My children on their own road in life
I will not be travel with them
as once my two eldest
blame me for their miserable life

This is a very difficult to do
This is not the children I know anymore
And to be honest
I do not like who they have become
all over the root of all evil
money

It is not reflection of me
as "things" can be replaced

There may be residual of some things
I cannot take back
I'd be foolish to say the ugly me
when at the hight of my drinking
and my learned behavior
seeing myself over them hitting them
while i was going through PMS
is a reflection of the old me
And not to be proud
As I do not question myself any more
even though it was short lived
damage has been done
but
never swept under the rug

Father I have been a good mother to my children
How they behave NOW is not of my doing
Precious Father only You know what i was subjected to
and how i swore if i ever did that to my children
i then
do not deserve the title
"Mommy"

young
only You know what life was like the moment i took my first breath
I was
and is still in my heart
am an Awesome mom
I have had made amends
My heart in it all
My life with a partner given up for them
this they do not see
both have partners in their lives

Sick I am
To feel good the moment I open my eyes
To be alive
Let me feel that Father
I have this body
That has been open and honest to
My brain
and the most important people in my life
my children and grandchild
Always talking to them
Letting them know of the unnatural behavior
The destructive kind
Never can they forget their childhood
A better life I tried to give them
then me
just forgotten

Father
I have a hole in my heart
Can you please fill it with Your warm touch
Can You hear me calling Your name
Can You touch my children's heart and forgive them
For I cannot stand
and refuse to be punching bag

Bless my family Father
i have given my all
Amen