It's been rough. Weeks 5 through 8--the weeks following the second blow to my head--I would rather just forget. I stopped keeping a detailed journal. It seemed fruitless trying to figure exactly what is going on; seems like a lot of it is garbage that was inevitable no matter what I did, once I got that second blow to the head, even though it wasn't obvious things were getting better otherwise. It seems I'm going through a process independent of triggers, that is, the only effects I can have on what I'm experiencing are marginal. (About all I accomplished was good diet--see previous update.) I go through dramatic --and it sometimes appears that so are some of our posters--changes in mood and attitude, for example high anxiety for maybe a day, then a period of calm sweet tranquility. Week 8 began something similar with the sleep cycle. Some days it's difficult to fall and stay asleep, and I generally get uneasy as the day nears its end, as if I can't really accept the day is over or lost or something; other days I sleep well but maybe have a little trouble resisting still more, which I don't see why I would need, during the day. Some periods I lack curiosity, make careless mistakes, and feel like avoiding things; others, I'm insatiable for information, pretty much my old self, but occasionally swing to another extreme like aching to get out and do something with my life. Looking back, these feelings and thoughts seem disconnected with reality, like they're just running on their own out of nowhere. This scary symptom-- widely reported by people with brain damage--and really my only major symptom--is to me an existential threat, for the core of my being is my feelings . .