I remember the pain and trauma I went through coming of MSContin and OxyContin. Now I hear you are doing that it puts things into perspective, I know my withdrawal was inexplicable, I couldn't fathom the feelings I was going through were withdrawal symptoms. I mean ok, I expected to experience something, what I got was not what I expected. I came off of my own volition and like you I felt pain, sorrow, irritation, despair and life was not worth living. It does get better I promise you.
I know you read my threads and are probably thinking well you don't sound better, but what I'm going through now is pure depression, not withdrawal. My PM put me on Temgesic and within days I felt better. I take it for my pain, I take way less than prescribed and I know now, it helped me through the withdrawal from Oxy and MS. Never again will I take that medication. My depression stems from living and coping with an alcoholic in recovery, not enough pain management and trying to hold it together so no one else knows I'm suffering. I have told no one except my NTrs. NT is my go to place. I can't get to see my psych at present, costs with DB treatment are sky high and that puts additional pressure on me to keep at it and at work. My psych and PM will both tell me not to work....
Hang in there Alaina, it will get better, I'm here for you and sending positive thoughts and virtual hugs.
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Originally Posted by PurpleFoot721
Thank you everybody for your thoughts and encouragement. I am having another rather tough day, It took me 4 hours of just lying in bed trying to find a reason to get up. I never did find that reason but I got up anyway.
Reading all of your responses set me off crying, in a good way by the way.
Kiwi - I will ask about the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy when I see her again in a little over a week.
Pam - I did start to watch a few of David Fairweather's videos. I started with his self hypnosis, anxiety reduction video but I was having so many distractions and interruptions that I had to stop. I do plan on going back to them when I have fewer distractions. I do appreciate your recommendations. I am pretty sure that you can post links to most youtube videos by the way.
Eva - I unfortunately know all about withdrawal. Not from an addiction but from trying over the last month and a half, to get off of MS Contin my previous PM put me on, which apparently is helping more than I thought. I almost ended up in the ER yesterday. I am not entirely sure if the intense amount of pain was sending me into what I can best describe as shock, if it was withdrawal, or a combination of the two. I can deal with the headache, profuse sweating, diarrhea, cramping, muscle aches and pain...but not the burning pain I went through yesterday morning that left me crying and beginning to convulse. I also understand that the withdrawal is part of my depression, but I also know that it goes beyond that. I have struggled with depression since my younger days and have always been somewhat good at hiding it. I just finally decided to try to get some help for it as it has been getting much worse over these past few months.
Debi - I did not think for one moment that you were lessening my issue. I just know that there are so many others on NT that are dealing with so many issues and complications in their life that my own problems seem so small in comparison. And yet I still can not seem to get past them.
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