Alaina, I feel for you, I re-read my message and it looks like I'm saying its just withdrawal, not what I meant to imply. I wanted to say you have depression along with the withdrawal and with help it will get better.
That feeling of loneliness and helplessness is awful, I wish I could magic it away for you. Good on you for hanging in there and getting yourself into a position where you can get help. It is so important to gel with the psychologist or therapist. I had one once where the sessions were more traumatic than beneficial. At that point in time I didn't realise you could pick and choose who you saw. I was seeing her over my fear of being in the car after a head on MVA and all she wanted to do was talk about my childhood and my mother. I said those things have no bearing on my fear of being in the car following the accident and she went off on a tangent saying I was wasting her time, it was quite awful. Anyway, long story short I told my GP and he referred me to another psych. I wish she was still practicing.
Gosh you are right, you haven't failed anything. My understanding of the evaluation is they decide the SCS implant is either suitable or not. Nothing I'm aware of says it is a pass or fail. There are millions of people who are not suited to the SCS implant, or even the pain pump implant. The PM who referred me for my SCS implant told me I had to believe it was going to work. If I didn't believe it would work then it simply wouldn't work. At the time I said I believed it would. I am sure if I had said "no I'm not certain it will" I would have been told no you can't have it as it won't suit you....
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Originally Posted by PurpleFoot721
Pam,
Yes, I have read through some of your threads and do understand that you are suffering from depression. I would like to mention, I have been dealing with some mild depression all of my life. I know that the withdrawal symptoms are not helping the matter at all, but I slipped into the sadness, loneliness and helplessness that I am feeling now a few months back, which was well before I started reducing any of my medications. When I went in for a psychological evaluation for a spinal cord stimulator, I decided I was not going to lie on any of the questions to avoid going for counseling. I was going to take that opportunity to call out for some much needed help. Help I should have looked for a some time ago. I went to one psychiatrist last August when it started to consume me, but I did not like how he wanted to handle matters. I never went back, but should have started searching for someone else back then.
My husband keeps bringing up that I failed the evaluation. No, I did not fail. Please stop telling me that. I am just seeking out the help that I very much need.
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