Dear Sam,

I am sorry to see you feeling so discouraged. It is very good that you are sharing those feelings and giving them a voice.

All of us here care about you and the world will NOT be a better place without you in it. Hold onto the the love you have for your family when you have these moments of darkness because their lives would never be the same without you.

I want you to make a promise okay? If you reach a point where you think you are going to act on your feelings please reach out to someone like your counselor, your parents, pastor, any school staff. It may be awkward doing this but a safety plan is very necessary and has the potential to save your life. Please let your counselor know you are having these feelings in general as well.

From the outside, I have to say that it looks from here that you are making some progress. I know it doesn't always feel that way. But look how far you've come with starting therapy, sharing your true feelings, writing what you feel. You are doing challenging things and even enjoying the games in gym (even if you get a bit of payback). You are making yourself get out and take walks. These are real, measurable accomplishments and I don't know that you would've been able to do these things a few months ago. Hold onto that and don't let go.

I will be out of pocket for a few days but will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Many hugs and healing thoughts are coming your way,