my dear alaina. i am so sorry you are having such a rough time with your rsd pain and depression from it as well. everything you wrote on this post is everything i feel from time to time too. i hope it somehow comforts you to know you are not alone. i am here if you ever need to talk along with the caring people here at NT. my family and NT have been a great support system for me. my husband has been great but sometimes living with a chronically ill person wears on them too and they just need a break. and sometimes friends you know may think that though your rsd is a physical illness that if you tried to be more positive it might help to lessen the pain. what many people who don't have rsd don't understand is that its hard to be always positive when your in constant horrific pain from a rare and incurable and quite terrifying illness. an illness that alot of drs don't know how to treat to help manage the pain. an illness where friends will sometimes say insensitive things like "you don't look sick". they don't see the pain we feel every day and the scars both physically and emotionally that we have due to rsd. but we know those scars are there and real and we understand each other because we are all going through it together. and even though our families, spouses and friends may not always understand what we are going through that doesn't mean they don't love us and care. they just get frustrated because they don't know what to do to help us feel better. i have been seeing a physchiatrist as well as a pain management dr on a regular basis to help manage my rsd pain, fibromyalgia (which i got several years after being diagnosed with rsd) and depression and anxiety. they prescribe meds that help me to deal better with my rsd, fibro and depression and anxiety. maybe that might help you to. just remember that rsd is not in your head, it is a very real illness that causes physical as well as emotional pain. and know that you matter to your loved ones and to me and your friends here at NT. i try to take it a day at a time. it's not as overwhelming to deal with that way. i hope you feel better soon. sending soft hugs your way.