One more comment, this book helped me so much. I read the daily message every night when I was going to bed, without fail...
http://www.amazon.com/Life-My-Own-Me.../dp/0894868632
Could any of your family and close friends work on an intervention?
Talking about this is bringing back memories of the wonderful people who took my arm when I got to Alanon and went every Thursday for a long time. I'd still be going but this hip surgery mess has changed my life so negatively. I think I'll email or call a couple people who helped me so much.