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Old 03-18-2016, 12:38 PM
bluesfan bluesfan is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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8 yr Member
bluesfan bluesfan is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 733
8 yr Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeless View Post
Hi Melody,

I wish I could help you with the "wording" of your response should the doc strongly advise a biopsy and you and Alan wish to refuse. YES, you (rather Alan) has every right to refuse if he desires that option.

I know exactly what you mean about the "wording". I am in a similar position wishing to refuse a medication prescribed for me that has too many "complications" for my liking but the doctor is insisting it is absolutely necessary. (Also, cancer potential related.) I attempted to state my reluctance during the office visit when the drug prescription was being written. I seem to lose all "tact" and come across as not trusting his medical expertise. THAT was NOT my opinion. I DO trust his judgment in his specialty and if I did not have so many "other" conditions, I would probably have little concern about taking the med. BUT, reading the literature on it, it will affect my other medications for other illnesses and conditions and I am not as sure as the doc that the med is really as necessary as he feels it is under my overall health.

Sometimes I think "specialists" get tunnel vision and do not put as much emphasis upon conditions and illnesses that are outside of their specialty expertise.

I guess I would suggest to you, that you state your feelings to the urologist in the same manner you expressed it to us, here.

It is sad that patients have to be concerned with the "ego" of the physician and not want to "step on their toes". Yes, they have more medical training and knowledge than the lay person, but ultimately, it is the decision of the patient, after being well informed. Sometimes docs just want to cover all bases and be sure they have not left something unchecked.

Bottom line, tactful communication is NOT in my treasure chest. I hope someone with those skills will respond.

I think your post is well stated and I would state it just that way if confronted with the need for a response.

Best wishes to you and Alan.

Hi Hopeless and Melody

Like you I sometimes have difficulty putting into words exactly what I need to say when I'm in the doctors office - (time pressure, short-term memory problems and fatigue all contribute).

Sometimes if it's something that I feel is important or complex I will write a letter to the doctor prior to an appointment so that they have time to consider my position before we discuss it.

Also if I feel there is any misunderstanding during an appointment I will write a letter after, either "seeking confirmation" or claiming "confusion on my part".
The effect of this is that the doctor actually pays more attention to my input.

In this day and age, when communications are rushed or limited to the doctor looking at only what is current on the computer screen, having an old-fashioned letter, outlining your position, and including any relevant medical history (eg adverse drug effects), can be constructive.

I would also suggest to try and keep any written communication as short and straight-forward as possible - keep emotions, speculation, anecdotal internet information etc out.

Melody - All the best for reaching a mutually agreeable plan with the doctor, for ongoing treatment for Alan.
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"Thanks for this!" says:
MelodyL (03-18-2016), PamelaJune (03-18-2016)