First leg of the holiday, fly to Sydney Australia. Woohoo. We are both stressed to the max, I said at 3.30 when we got up, it's not to late to cancel... DB says we gotta keep on living a life, but he knows how terrified I am of his funk and with his mindset the balcony offers a quick step off. Sorry to sound maudlin but he really is agitated. I'm thinking now I should never have gone ahead with this, of course when we booked he had a semblance of control, drinking yes, but able to high function. Sadly as we know 12 months ago the high functioning came non functioning. He seems positive this morning but the last two nights unbearable and back to taking Valium, hadn't taken any for over 3 months.
On a positive note, the chic magnet still looks good so that's what we've got to embrace, look good, feel good and live for the moment, the minute, the hour the day, tomorrow is tomorrow and we can't worry about it.