Dear Gerry
For the first time in my life

I am truly not in the way of anybody
As I pull away in a healthy way
Not vicious or hurtful
or spiteful
What comes my way isn't anything I ask for
It is put before me
To not talk about the past is a huge indication
I have much healing I have accomplished in life
only for it to be hit by salt
A wound forever
Maybe
I do not know
But know I am a better person today
sickness and all
because each and everyday it is kept real

For example
I spoke of my mother
Feeling her mortality
Told her after many years of no communication
My door is always open for my family
It is who I am
May it be the cause of my own demise
They are asking for me
She wants to be in my life as if it were okay
to keep me a secret
I'm fifty five
Finally a new person interested in me
Me on the elevator
Someone who I already spoke with
Having a call on the eve of Christmas
And on Easter Sunday
It has been a long time since someone new
be coming to meet my daughter and granddaughter
This something new
My life
My happiness
Me having to think of my sanity
As I am responsible for it
It may be a very depressing life story
Yet very true
VERY TRUE
It took a long time in my fathers death to forgive him
It will be a challenge with my mother wanting to manipulate
everything

My daughter Corissa
Able to see how I handle what is constantly
put before me
Over and over again

Please know
I feel at my best
under the most unusual circumstances
Letting go and Letting God
is in my saving Grace
Believing that I am just a spec
I am still we are still his child

Your concerns understood
I may repeat myself over and over again
as my stories to tell have me coming out in the end a stronger person
I had many lessons
Many repeated
I have a good sound mind
When I look at it all
I am not in control of anything
And I like it like that
I do not fight it anymore
It is much better today
Please know that
And the clock keeps on ticking
Even after I'm gone
May I have left a mark of The Lords work
That is all I am interested in
To be happy in The Lords presence
Love and hugs
Me