I finally took that trip to my parents this past weekend. It was very peaceful and quiet up where their place is. I spent most of the weekend relaxing, watching the ducks and even an eagle. It is a place to leave all of my stresses behind and try my hardest to try to feel happy. I spent a lot of time talking with my mom this weekend. It is nice to know that she is still there for me when I truly need her. Offering me support and encouragement, opinions and options if my marriage should fail, a place to live if that does happen, guidance and the love that she has shown in the past.

I was not sure if I was going to make it. I had a rather difficult week having 3 doctor appointments and a lot of extra stress as a result of those appointments. My PM decided to put me on Effexor to help deal with the depression. The following day, my PCP tried to put me on Xanax but I would not let him, but decided to send my pharmacist a prescription for what was supposed to be Trazodone, but ended up sending for Tramadol. That messes things up with my contract with my PM so I had to get that straightened out. I still refused to pick up the Trazodone. I am not starting 2 medications at the same time again. Then I find out while at my Orthopedic appointment, that I have osteoporosis in at least my right foot and lower leg. To top off the week, I had a few arguments with my husband that always end up one sided. As a result of this stressful week, I had a major increase in both physical and emotional pain. I had to get out of the house. I was going to go to my parents no matter what.

I was doing fairly well from the weekend up through part of Monday. Then I had an appointment with my psychologist. Not that it was a bad appointment, just a couple of very difficult conversations that were discussed that I am still very shook up about.

I have not felt this low in a long time. I had a decent weekend, but it was just a weekend. Now I am back to reality and having a very difficult time with it.