I do Gerry, the house goes for weeks / months without a proper clean. I close my eyes to everything, but sometimes I just have to push through to get something done. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about re DB not understanding, yesterday at the Coles checkout I gather up two light bags and leave the rest for him, he looks at me and says in all seriousness, those bags are heavier than the Ozito yet you can lift them. My reply, its not the heaviness of the Ozito that upset me dear, it's the fact you think I should be able to get out there and vacuum, clean up the back yard. I struggle to do inside let alone outside. Your sarcasm is not appreciated! Came home and didn't talk for the rest of the evening.

I know he has his demons and his severe depression keeps him bedbound if not at work, the gym or at his psych appointments. I get all of that and I support him to the best I can. I put no pressure on him to do anything around the house, it is me that's kept it clean and functioning both inside and out for the past two years but it's getting harder and harder for me. Buying the Ozito for me said - oh ok, she will get out there and do it when she gets angry enough with it not being done so this will help because I'm not going to do it!

Even when he did start, I had to go out and say blow it to a pile that can be swept up and then bagged and binned, otherwise you blow it away and it all blows back in the next wind gust! (It's not rocket science.) so I'm cooking the roast and he comes in and says I've blown it all to a spot for you to come sweep and bag up.... His depression and not drinking has taken him back to being a 12 year old I swear! (They did say that happens but really, is it that hard to think things through).

There are two of us in this relationship with severe depression, one also with severe chronic pain, how come I'm the one expected to hold it all together. Sadly, I do believe Gerry, if I were to stop doing the daily feeding & watering of the animals (7 of them), the weekly grooming, the feeding of the fish (30) the cleaning up after the animals (daily poop clean up) hand water all the plants (daily in summer as retic been broken for 6 years) the daily cooking, the regular washing, the ironing and the occasional cleaning, take the garbage out as needed and putting the bins out every week then this household will come to a screaming halt and it will be far to hard to regain the toehold I have of just keeping it together. I'm too scared to stop because I can't see it being recovered.

I posed did he have chronic fatigue syndrome, his psych says no, it's his depression and he is bored. BORED! So he is off to a mankind project that will give him things to do. I so hope they have groups of men who are all bored that will feel inclined go round to each other's houses and do regular maintenance rather than weekend camping trips to the wilderness for physical challenges. I'm sure I can't be the only spouse who is going through this.

Rant over, I'm sorry, I'm just so overwhelmed with it all. This can't be my life for much longer.