Pam,

It is so sad to deal with his disconnection. I have a little of what you are saying about DB with my situation.

As soon as I mention about being in pain; he just walks away or continues reading the paper that I interrupted him from doing; just by talking. As long as I try doing a bit of joking, finish laundry, or dinner; then we are good. I know the detachment hurts; in your case it is beyond comprehension. Your DB just does not; or want to, "get it".

I wonder what would happen if when DB came home from work you were resting because you were not up to cooking or taking the dog out. I'm not sure you would be able to allow yourself to do that; but it sure would be a good way to show him, as well as other unconcerned family members. No dinner invites either......let them know "I am no longer up to or able to entertain. As long as they see you still doing all these things; you are showing unconcerned people; ....."I can do it all".....

As I mentioned before; even tho I am still somewhat active; I no longer entertain or do many of the extras. Meals are as simple as I can manage..... My husband does not seem to notice or when he does, he is glad I am making things easier for myself, including meals for us, etc.

Pam needs to put Pam first. I know your personality type makes this quite difficult for you to do; but unless you do; it will not get better.

You really had quite a nasty fall. It would have been nice for DB to show some concern; but at least you did have everything checked out and cleaned up...Unfortunately, you had to get yourself to the hospital. Your husband is dealing with his issues; but what is your mother's excuse??? I'm glad to learn you are able to say "no" and starting to let them tend for themselves. Good for you!!!!!!!

Take care of yourself dear lady.


Gerry