Joanne,

At this time of day 2 years ago I was out cold waiting for a surgeon to arrive and put my skull back together, so I'm told.

I remember at 2 months post the doc telling me don't be surprised if you start swearing.
I don't swear at all, my mom taught me to take pride in good grammar and that rubbed off on me. Somewhere around 6 months post my language caught me off guard and my adult children howled with laughter...I was horrified. It has since calmed down and gone back to normal me but when I am under pressure words still catch me off guard and that is one sign I need to step back and take a break.

I have always been a very calm person under pressure. People I work with, friends and as a retired volunteer fireman many people have remarked over the years how they wish they were as cool as me when it gets tough. All that sort of went out the door. When the going gets tough I can get angry easily.

I read my Bible a lot and there was a verse I read early on that said to let your speech be gracious...so when I get ready to say something or blow at my wife I use that as a check before I speak, is what I am going to say be gracious. It isn't easy but it is now a learned behavior for me.

I do get anxious easily now and that does bother me, I wish I was that calm guy as before.
The last 2 days I have been telling myself it is ok to be anxious as no harm has come to me from it, just fear of it and discomfort but maybe in life we all deal with some sort of discomfort. I guess for me I will need to learn to be comfortable with it and not let it rob me of a blue sky or birds singing.

I hope hearing you aren't alone helps and let me say that I am nowhere near as bad as 1 year ago.

Keep the faith and best wishes to you!

Bud