Perhaps I'm at the beginning of that stage because there are now the odd times that I don't actually get stuck with decisions...times when I remember that if I take a deep breath, I can handle making a decision, even if it doesn't feel as though I've actually decided anything. I am at least going through the process of saying one or the other, or saying something from a menu.
I'm hopeful I will become more confident again. It would sure be nice! I changed the voice mail on my phone, and when I listened to the old message, it sounds like someone I don't even know anymore. I hope I can bring her back.
I find it very confusing, and although I want to take responsibility, I sometimes don't remember exactly in what way I should or should not things, and when I do things wrong I feel like people think I do it on purpose. Sometime people do think that. What they don't understand is that there is nothing I would like More than to feel better. I would give my right Arm to be 100% again. So it is extremely upsetting when my someone indicates that it's my fault. Don't get me wrong, suggestions and reminders work wonderfully if I'm moving off track.
I guess it's just tough because if my brain isn't remembering everything correctly (and yes) I write things down, how am I supposed to remember all the details of what I'm supposed to be doing?
Last night on a walk with my husband, I said "is that Blue??" Referring to the stucco on a particular house that I don't remember being blue. He looked at me as said "go ahead, say the next part"...apparently I've asked that same question about the same house 4 times now, and always follow the statement with "I don't remember it being blue".
I should look at this with humour when I can. It IS a bit funny.


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