Joannetb,

It appears one of your problems may be a limited digit spam. This is not uncommon. It is often a part of memory dysfunctions and limitations. What this means is your brain can only juggle a limited number of bits of information. If you need to make a decision based on more bits of information than your brain can process, the mind will either freeze, get confused, outburst, or just give up and make a poor decision.

To explain digit span, I start at the basics. A child can usually process bits of information equal to age. A one year old can process one like NO. As the brain develops, this increases so a two year old can process two bits like yes and no. A three year old can process three such as yes, no, and maybe. This increases to about 8 digits at 8 years old. Some will increase their digit span past 8 if their brains have more processing capacity, intelligence, etc.

My digit span has been as high as 13 in a perfect situation but if I am under any stress, it reverts to 3 or so. Ambient sensory stimulation can impact digit span as the mind has to sort through irrelevant information to process the important information. For some of us the concept is we need to Stop to Think.

This is an important point for you to understand and explain to your family. If you husband asks you a question with too many variables or bits of information, you will struggle. f the question can be simplified, you will do much better. I find that it can help to write down all of the bits so I can process them visually. I may cross out the bits that can be ignored so I can reduce the amount of information needed to make a decision.

You will benefit from taking time to determine what your digit span is so you can develop ways to work with this limitation. We tend to try to function at a pre-injury levels and crash. When we realize we are about to crash, we can step back, take note of how much information was too much and take steps to consolidate the important information and try again.

It sounds like you processing ability changes based on your stress and intensity of the information. Understanding this will be a big help.

I forget if you have had a full battery Neuro Psychological Assessment so you can understand what your memory and executive functioning limits are. Mine helped me stop trying to push too hard and crash and annoy others. I've had 3 over a 12 year span and nothing improved (my case is extreme) so I know that I needed to find ways to work with what functions I have. Research shows that those who accept their current condition and limitations and learn to work with them do best, even if improvements do come over time.

I know it is a struggle. The 'I want the old me back' is so tempting but usually counter-productive.

I hope this can help you.

My best to you.